11
Loving-kindness, compassion and the trainability of warmth
Kindness as a practice
Warmth toward ourselves and others can be deliberately cultivated. Research suggests these practices build positive emotion and engage the brain’s systems for care.
9 min read
What these practices are
Loving-kindness (metta) and compassion practices involve intentionally generating goodwill—first toward someone easy to care for, often oneself, then extending outward to friends, neutral people, difficult people and finally all beings. Simple phrases such as “may you be well, may you be at ease” give attention something to rest on.
The aim is not to force a feeling but to incline the mind, repeatedly and gently, toward care. Over time the inclination can become more familiar and available.
What the research suggests
In a study by Barbara Fredrickson and colleagues, several weeks of loving-kindness practice was associated with gradual increases in daily positive emotions, which in turn predicted growth in personal resources such as social connection and a sense of purpose.
Work by Tania Singer and Olga Klimecki distinguishes compassion from mere empathy: compassion training up-regulated positive affect and engaged brain networks linked to reward and affiliation, offering a more sustainable response to others’ suffering than empathic distress alone.
Beginning with yourself
Many people find directing kindness toward themselves the hardest step. If the phrases feel hollow or bring resistance, that is common and not a sign of failure. You can start with a being you love easily, or simply notice the wish to be well without demanding the feeling arrive.
Self-compassion research by Kristin Neff frames this as meeting difficulty with the same care we would offer a good friend—an alternative to harsh self-criticism rather than an indulgence.
Try it · 5–10 minutes
A short loving-kindness practice
- 1Bring to mind someone you care for easily; wish them well with a simple phrase.
- 2Turn the same phrase toward yourself: “may I be well, may I be at ease”.
- 3Extend it to a neutral person you neither like nor dislike.
- 4If you feel steady, include someone difficult, without forcing it.
- 5Rest for a moment in the wish for all beings to be well.
If self-directed kindness feels difficult, stay with an easy figure and go gently.
Sources
This guide draws on peer-reviewed research and primary texts. It summarises findings for a general reader and is not a substitute for reading the original studies.
- 1Fredrickson, B. L. et al. (2008). Open hearts build lives: positive emotions, induced through loving-kindness meditation, build consequential personal resources. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 95(5).
- 2Klimecki, O. M., Leiberg, S., Ricard, M. & Singer, T. (2014). Differential pattern of functional brain plasticity after compassion and empathy training. Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience, 9(6).
- 3Neff, K. D. (2003). Self-compassion: an alternative conceptualization of a healthy attitude toward oneself. Self and Identity, 2(2).